The year 1984 was a game changer. The extended family parted ways, leaving us with open wounds. We didn’t even know we were wounded. The emotional mould doesn’t break with a sound, just a lot of unexplained energy.
I started having migraines, forced out of the city of my birth, unsettled in the new land. I was no longer wanted or liked. I was looked upon as a Delhi girl in a smaller town, someone to ogle at but not befriended.
Then began the story of my multiple losses. I came back to Delhi in 1989, defeated and lost. I was straight A student till Class IX. Then, it rained insults and losses.
Around 1990, I started seeing visions of death and my right hand being cut off. I began to imagine a life without a hand. I thought I was being morbid and illusionary, but I never realised that I was seeing something that lay within me, an energy that was speaking to me.
In 1994, I had a major accident and my right hand was the worst hit. Well, I had multiple fractures: face, left hand, left leg and a crushed right hand. The hand had been crushed from the elbow down. The elbow bone rotates our hand, but mine broke along with the main bone and the wrist. The doctor was pessimistic—it didn’t look like they could save the hand or maybe I would never be able to use it.
It was a long road to recovery, 3-4 years, multiple surgeries and then, finally the hand rotates but not all of it. However, the fingers pain if I type for too long, or fold them often. The wrist pains too. At times, I wake up with my hand curled up and I have to slowly prise it open, flexing it to let the blood flow.
Over the decades, I have learnt to keep my hand mobile, massaging it with pain oil and exercising to keep it flexible.
Luckily, in 1996, the computer revolution came to India. Before this accident, my handwriting was like little pearls on paper, now I could barely push myself to write clearly or fast. I couldn’t hold the pen for long.
I don’t type like the others with two hands, I use one finger from both hands to type, but I am in no hurry. I put my elbow on the table when I write, so it doesn’t pain or lose muscle.
In 1998, my personal and family life fell apart. A friendly neighbourhood counsellor asked me, what do you think you can to do to get out of this situation? I didn’t know what I could do; I had never been trained to take charge, be in the forefront or earn. I said, I can write. I know how to write, my teachers said I was good at writing.
In 1999, I started working for a New Age magazine. I didn’t know how to write features for media. I learnt it over the year there, albeit after much shaming. I think I was tolerated only because I was paid a measly amount of Rs 3,500.
In 1999, I met the man who changed my perception to writing and life. My mentor, K.N. Rao, the world’s finest Vedic astrologer and Director of the School of Astrology at Delhi’s Bharatiya Vidya Bhawan, said that I should keep writing. I didn’t understand.
I was a reader, not a writer. Writing is a banal act, everyone can write. UNESCO statistics show that 87% of the people, over the age of 15, can read and write. What makes me unique? Am I Ernest Hemingway, Charles Dickens, Emily Bronte, Leo Tolstoy?
Over the decades, I have written content for marketing, highly idiotic pieces just for the income. I have written brochures, where your name doesn’t matter nor does your style.
I have edited books and tabloids. I have written for magazines, newspapers, websites. I have executed coffee table books, literally single-handedly. I have been offered writing gigs for 0.30 paise a word. I have seen the word get lost in the sea of videos, podcasts and photographs. I have seen AI revolutionise the word. Then why do I still write?
In 2014, I was freelancing and I went to cover a senior citizens’ badminton club in Delhi for a Mumbai-based magazine. The club members welcomed me respectfully. I didn’t understand what it meant to be able to move your hands and feet at 60.
Two years later, in 2016, they gave me a call to tell me that thanks to the write-up I had done, their badminton club made it to the Limca Book of Records.
In 2018, I travelled to a little town in Assam—Numaligarh. It was a work trip. I was covering the CSR activities done by a PSU. People below poverty line were the beneficiaries.
They took me to a young boy’s home. This 16-year-old boy had been electrocuted by the pole outside his mud hut. He had been burnt through and through, lost two limbs, including one arm. I could barely keep a straight head while talking to him.
I came out and looked at the pen in my right hand, holding it like the most treasured thing on earth. What if I had lost that arm? I wouldn’t have been able to tell the story to the world, at least not in the way I know best—through my writing.
I started the blog when I lost work in 2011. At sea in the world outside a powerful organisation, I floundered. Did writing no longer hold value? The digital storm had almost wiped out the print media, at least the magazines. Newspapers were fighting for survival. But writing had not died.
The blog introduced me to different kinds of writing-some failed, some succeeded. People said attention spans are short, no one wants to read. But I loved length; I can write for hours. I filtered through and wrote.
Over the years, I have learned that writing is not a mere act of putting together some simple sentences. It is a craft that is honed with love, an art that brings change, enchants, entrances and fascinates.
Writing is sacrosanct. Writing is truth. Writing immortalises a story.
People trust writers, people rely on good writers to control the flow of information. People write good books, which other people read and talk about. Writing is a heritage, a legacy that lasts millennias.
I kept writing, rewriting, changing, until I decided ‘my story, my style, my way’. I waved off the old hats, the badly paid jobs and insults to my gift—writing.
I didn’t consciously choose to be a writer. I happened to be born in a century when writing is the norm, albeit all writing is not held in esteem. Then why do I still write?
I write to express my emotions, to exorcise my demons, to find a place among the writers who have long gone, yet remain alive through their words and thoughts. I write because maybe I have explored art, photography, languages and the written word can take them all under its umbrella.
It’s 2024 and I don’t know why I write, but I do know that it keeps me sane, my heart full of stories and my mind an active hotbed of imagination and creativity. Maybe, before I leave the planet, I will know why I write, till then I just write because that’s the blessing I have from the divine.
This post is part of the ‘The Write Path’ blog hop hosted by Swarnali Nath.
Queen of Treasures 
Beautifully penned thoughts. I was shocked to read how many hardships you have gone through. But I feel that it has made you stronger each time. And having writing on your side, you have the bestest buddy. More power to you and your writing.
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Over the years, I have discovered we have the power to heal ourselves and shape our minds
yes, books, reading and writing have certainly.been my besties in this life
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Hello Ambica! You’ve had a tough but inspiring journey. I love the honesty with which you’ve penned your emotions and written about your writing years. I wish you much joy and contentment as you move forward in understanding your reasons to write.
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Ambica, firstly, I want to thank you for writing this post with the utmost honesty and transparency. Knowing you as a blogger friend of mine always gives me a sense of pride, and now, I am proud to say that I came to know a slice of your journey. You faced so many obstacles in life, and that’s why your writing shows the maturity that you earned through the experiences. They made you shine like gold. I really wish you write more and more, because the world needs a writer like you. Thanks a lot for joining us in this blog hop and sharing your writing journey so far. It means a lot to me. Congratulations to you for all the writing achievements. Best wishes and gratitude.
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Your kind words are motivation enough to keep writing ✍️ 😇
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Beautifully written piece on why you write! Your reflections on the personal and emotional aspects of writing are inspiring and relatable. Thanks for sharing your journey!
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I am glad that I came across your blog through this writing activity #thewritepathbloghop. What an iron lady you are, Ambica! Your story speaks volumes about your passion to move forward in your life despite all the challenges. Your written words will live eternally and touch the hearts of all readers. Kudos!
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Thank you for the encouragement Swati.
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Ambica Hugs Hugs and Hugs , you are indeed a wonder woman for me and I am happy that I know you and let it be even Virtually. You are an inspiration for many and embraced writing as a medium to help you grow in such a beautiful way. Nothing stopped you and nothing can stop you ever… You are a true winner in every way. Love you
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What doesn’t break you, makes you stronger. Your post was so heart-touching and motivating. Your journey with writing has been marked by so many incidents, not all pleasant, but your grit and determination remains unscathed. Kudos!
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You are a true warrior Ambica. your journey is truly inspiring. yes, writing give us power and courage to deal with difficult situations and like you, I also had great help with this magical art. keep writing, keep inspiring.
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That is a long journey of laurels that you achieved with writing. Written word can allow to express all the beauty you observe in the Nature. Hard days, good days and everyday gets better with writing and you keep recording all the places you visit so we get a explore them with you. 🤩
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Ah that last paragraph – what a beauty of a blog post Ambica. I have been exposed to your writing thanks to your blog and I have loved every piece I have read. This was such a personal story and it was great to see how writing was the one thread through it all that made everything mean something. It is indeed a gift – yes 87% of people can write but few can tell a story. You’re one of the few.
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Thank you for your kind words Suchita. I enjoyed Chanderi ki Shaadi so much that I plan to write on lighter stuff now as well ..something that makes us happy, dressy and peppy 😛
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That’s wonderful! We all need some fun now and then. Look forward to reading it 🙂
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What a roller coaster ride you have had in your journey, Ambica! Kudos to you for powering through and making this far with such a diverse range of experience in writing. I personally don’t think the art of writing will disappear any time soon in the digital era. But yes, there is more demand for short and crisp written pieces today due to shortened attention spans. I too favour long form writing, with elaborate descriptions of a simple emotion or thought, which is exactly why I continue to blog rather than write in other platforms like Instagram where the reach would be much more. Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty, it is an inspiration ❤️.
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I always lobe your long posts. They say people don’t want to read long posts, but that’s only partially true. People don’t like to read long boring posts. Yours is never boring. I enjoy your travel writing, your attention to detail and pics that accompany your posts. For me, even if 1 reader loves my writing style and very carefully reads my posts and gets inspired, my purpose if fulfilled. You have such a reader in me, Ambica. I do hope to keep reading many more of your wonderful writings in future.
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sorry for the typo, it’s love instead of lobe.
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Dear Ambica, what a journey yours has been, filled with trials and travails. It is inspiring to read how you withstood all your problems and rose like a phoenix to chart your own path, your own writing style and your own life! Thank you for a wonderful piece of writing. It must have liberated you to write it. Kudos!
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‘It keeps me sane’ Exactly! Also that 0.30 paise per word. I’ve been there as well and at this stage in my professional life I feel like why did I do that?
More power to your pen and sending your strength and positive vibes
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‘WRITING IMMORTALISES A STORY.’: very well said!
It’s difficult to share personal stories, and you’ve done it beautifully. Your writing journey is tough and inspiring.
Stay well and keep writing.
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Awww Ambica, I absolutely loved the last line – I too believe writing is a gift from the divine, and we are fortunate to have received it. I had no idea about your amazing journey. Kudos to you for overcoming so many problems and thriving. Your long and varied writing journey inspires me too. I don’t know where traditional journalism is headed with the advent of AI, but I strongly believe that good writers will always find a place for their words.
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If I ask myself why do I write, the answer would be it gives me solace. I had goosebumps listening to your story. God’s always kind and gives strength to his people when nothing seems to be working.
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First of all lots of hugs for thriving through this journey. Your journey is inspiring and your vulnerable deep thoughtful words reflect through this blog. I am glad I participated in this challenge and got to read such inspiring journey. Thank you so much for this extremely motivating blog.
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Your story has made us realize that, despite the deepest fall in our personal life, one small hope, one small ray of hope to tell our story to the world has changed the way you look at life. Writing is truly a bliss for someone like us. Glad to have connect with you over the blogging platform,,
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Great to read about your writing journey Ambica.
I had no idea what a blog was before 2015… Some classmates do tell me that I used to write nicely in school but I don’t recall anything. I only remember writing for hours in my diary and mom asking when I would publish it… 😂
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I had not idea of blogs till 2012! Even though, girls in office used to talk about it, some even wrote and talked digital, I would only live and breathe print. It’s very late in life I realised that we don’t need to stop our skills because of the medium, we just need to keep shaping it as we see the changes.
I never succeeded in writing diaries, they would always be left mid-way. I feel happy blogs and website have kept our creativity alive!
Happy writing to you as well.
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First of all a warm hug to you. I find a soul sister in you. I can relate so well with all your posts and our lives have been a rollercoaster. But, not giving up is the true strength and writing is therapeutic. It is like balm on your wounds and heals your soul. I started writing at 40 out of the blue. That too a weekly column for The Hindu, Metro Plus. We need to meet some day 🙂 Lots of power to your pen and blessings for a healthy and happy life ahead 🙌
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Lots of joy through writing to you as well Harjeet.
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